In our culture, as Vince Lombardi said, “Winners never quit and quitters never win.” The idea is that the only way to flourish in any endeavor is to find a direction and then pursue it until you are successful. The problem is that many people doggedly work toward a goal but never advance their cause. Others bask in good fortune that seems unearned. We all wish life were fair and that consistent effort would pay off, but the anecdotal evidence does not stand up under objective research.
But if a venture is doomed no matter how hard we work, we need to know how to focus of our activities. Determining when to quit is just as important as knowing when to persevere. When it turns out that your dream is not realistic, adjusting the goals is smart, not cowardly. The challenge is deciding when to quit and what to do next. Since it is impossible to know the outcomes of the possibilities, every option is uncertain. Just as a gambler is tempted to keep playing a losing hand hoping that luck will turn, it can seem safer to stay with the current direction rather than making a change in lovers, careers, or friends.
Because inertia takes less energy than changing course, only careful assessment of the likely outcomes will make the best decision clear. Whether quitting is our choice or is forced upon us, changing direction is difficult because it requires that we accept that our previous efforts have not worked out as we had hoped. We have trouble with the idea that our judgment was flawed and that sunk costs are losses.
Along with everyone else, I grapple with these issues. It helps that I believe that no experience is a total loss. Most of us have quit a relationship or a job when it had become clear that it wasn’t working out as we had hoped. As a result, we learned a lot. Get certified as a teacher and discover that you hate being in the classroom. The time and money can seem wasted, but there will be dividends in acquired skills. The returns just won’t be easy to measure in terms of salaries or job titles. The learning won’t be much of a consolation when you are in debt as a result of an aborted entrepreneurial effort or a degree that you no longer need.
Eventually we all have to quit something. I am pleased to see that psychologists are now telling us that it is as important to learn to quit well as it is to have persistence. I have been reading “Mastering the Art of Quitting: Why It Matters in Life, Love, and Work,” by Peg Streep and Alan Bernstein. The authors describe what studies show about the productive results of quitting in a proactive way. They make a good case that quitting can have tremendous positive effects by providing re-engagement and recalibrating focus. Endings are as important as beginnings and middles.
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