It isn’t easy to get back to your preferred lifestyle after an extended break. I know; I have been away from my regular life since December 2013.
During the holidays, I always go out to California to visit my mother. While I am there I try to help her manage things. She is 85 and I have been watching her abilities to care for herself diminish over several years.
During this year’s visit I realized that she is no longer able to live independently without round-the-clock support. I spent most of January, February, March, and April trying to determine the most reasonable way to help her and taking over management of her affairs. Ultimately I moved her into a memory care facility near my home and went back to clean out and sell her home. The proceeds will help pay for her care.
Now I am back but all my clients have moved on. I am looking for work opportunities and picking up my relationships with friends and family.
I hear similar stories from other people attempting to get back into their careers, lose weight, or build strength after surgery. It is hard to get back on track. It takes commitment and energy. Changing direction always does.
When the time comes to start over, one of the biggest challenges is the guilt which is usually part of the package. Even if it was the result of a choice, resuming your life is unlikely to go smoothly and you may occasionally question whether the situation shows that you are a failure in some way. Being plump, unfit, or jobless are your current circumstances, not aspects of your identity. Your goal is to reestablish your desired life path in an efficient way that is most likely to be successful.
So without wasting energy blaming yourself, you need to make a plan to take a step or two that will bring you toward your ultimate goal. The most common cause of failure when you begin again is attempting to do too much – too fast. You need to begin with one action that you commit to and then add others incrementally over time. Just be sure that an occasional slip in your plan doesn’t become the reason that you give up your quest. Occasional lapses happen and you need to be able to forgive yourself and get back on track.
In my case, I need to begin to find work that will rebuild my income. Rather than applying for every possible job posting and reaching out to every acquaintance to find company insiders that can help me get access to the hiring manager, I decided to begin by notifying former clients and recruiters that I was available again. I also uploaded a revised resume to the job boards and began to attend some networking events. I am not doing everything I could, but I am making a beginning.
I believe the job market must be finally beginning to turn around because I had some immediate responses. By not driving myself crazy trying to follow every job search guideline and pursue every lead, I have been able to maintain my momentum. I am also more relaxed than I would have been if I were more impatient. And the money and the contacts are starting to develop—one day at a time. Most recently I have begun applying to job postings that seem particularly fitting.
Studies show that my approach is in keeping with psychological research. I still need to pick up more work assignments, but that cannot happen overnight. Like everything worthwhile, it takes time. Pushing too hard and fast will only undermine my self-assurance and derail me. Slow and steady is the best way to get back into the water.
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